Of What’s Left

It’s hard to

Look at the remains

Of the rubble.

Or to look at completely


With everything destroyed and


A crater has been left in your

Core, at the

Wake of pain.

Severe pain.

Nonetheless, you take a


You have to look

As difficult as it is

To resist shutting your


You have to look.

It’s the only way you

Can move forward,

The only starting point to

Eventually rebuild.

So, look.

Photo by Surian Soosay

Isn’t forgiveness ultimately an act of recognizing someone else’s humanity? A recognition of their frailty, of their vulnerability, of their lack of control even of themselves?


I still think about you. From time to time, I’m still caught up in longing, sadness, regret, pity. Loss, even. As if finally getting away from you meant losing myself. Completely.

Maybe that’s half the truth.

I loved you, so much that even I couldn’t understand, couldn’t fully accept, the magnitude and depth of that love. And you, the recipient, is now gone from my life.

Hence, the feeling of loss.

In its wake, I am left with all of these feelings, still hanging above and below, some of them occasionally crushing down on me. I live my own life now; some nights and some mornings I still find that hard to believe. But these leftover feelings, I still don’t know what to do with them. Or where to put them. Or if they’ll ever be extinguished.

I don’t know.

Something I know: there’s a subtle but very noticeable chill in my heart. I feel it. Sometimes it hurt, sometimes it’s just there, being nothing. It must be the equivalent of a scar after a wound has healed.

Though I doubt that I am healed.

I don’t think I am even halfway there.

Soon, hopefully. Or not; rather, soon, certainly. Because I am beyond tired of hurting because of you, my love. I am beyond tired of hoping, of leaving everything, even my recovery, to chance.

Certainly, I will heal. Certainly, this loss, this chill, they’ll heal, too.

10 Words Every Book-Lover Should Know

Interesting Literature

The word for a book-lover is a ‘bibliophile’, a word first recorded in print in 1824. Alternatively, there is the word ‘bookworm’, which is of an altogether more ancient pedigree: it first appears in 1580. But what words should every good bibliophile and bookworm know? Here are some of our favourites.

Related post: 10 rare but useful words everyone should know, including the word for ‘lying awake at dawn worrying’.

If you consider yourself an educated or ‘lettered’ person, you might be described as a LITERARIAN, a word coined from the French in the eighteenth century and probably modelled on similar words such as ‘librarian’ and ‘antiquarian’.

Some people consider themselves highly educated and lettered literarians, but in fact they are often ULTRACREPIDARIAN – a handy word which refers to someone who gives an opinion on things s/he knows nothing about. This rather useful word is first recorded in…

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